The Broken Philosophy

More than twenty four years of existence and still searching….

Unable to differentiate the Virtual from the Real, I am still wandering or rather wondering.

More tilted towards the materialistic world, my mind has little time for soul searching to find the true meaning of living. Maybe I will start after I settle down in life- a good job, good family relations, marriage, children, prosperity, prestige,… so long is the list that like the common multitude, I will never find answers to the real questions- the questions about existence which has been haunting me since childhood.

The more you know about the world, the more complex things appear to be.
I am vacillating between ‘Atheism’ and ‘Theism’- but not as a question of principle. Like a small boat in a whirlwind, I am being swayed to both sides without being able to decide which is right. The society forces you to believe in the creator, for he is the only truth. Rebels, like my Communist friends, tell me that there is no God; everything is a myth, a tool for exploitation.

None of them convinces me. How can they? With a prejudiced mind, people have been moulded to believe in God from childhood onwards-a the firm belief built in their minds-there is little scope for non-prejudiced, independent thinking.

The Communists- Ah! They are just ideology crazy giving no free thought for anything which is incompatible with their so called ideology.

Will science give me an answer? Alas! I wish it would. Science has spread light to many mysteries- but it fails miserably in finding the ultimate truth- the truth about creation and the Creator.
As Science explores more, more blurred the whole thing becomes. The earth existing in a solar system with other hundreds of solar systems in a galaxy, and millions of galaxies existing like a complex web.... It is all too much beyond imagination. And what is Man in all these? Not even a speck of dust.

Will science find an answer to the question of existence? May be ‘Yes’ or most probably ‘No’.

It is like this….

The world is like a big library with thousands of books arranged in hundreds of similar shacks. Each shack contains books arranged in an order. Each book has notes from which you can know more about the world. Mankind has just opened the first book among the thousands and has just read through its first few pages. All books need to be read to get a full picture of the universe. If it took more than 2000 years to read the few introductory pages of the first book, when will man read the whole bunch so that he will know the reality- may be never!!!

Man’s comprehending capacity and sensations are so limited that however hard he tries, he will never be able to know the reality.

It may be that the existence we are experiencing may be virtual- just some kind of pre-meditated thoughts. Or their may be more to the reality than we think there is. We might not be able to sense and hear- but there may be other beings around us who are intermingling with each other but cannot be heard or seen because the frequency and wavelength they possess are beyond human sensations.

We will never know. Still, every man believes what he like to believe most.
So what I am to believe? Should I believe that god exists and he created everything and he looks after the whole universe? Or should I believe that it is all just part of the evolutionary process; no god, no creator, but only physical and chemical phenomenon resulting in the present day world? It all started from vacuum!! But then how did the vacuum or space come? Where is it? I am not able to imagine.

I am never able to understand when such basic questions exist about the existence of God- How can people fight with each other in the name of different gods? It is so unbelievably foolish!!! How stupid!

To be on the safer side, I would prefer to be a believer, like all others; because sometimes it gives u emotional and moral strength when you feel you have someone watching you from above, someone who can be relied upon.
But still I am vacillating between atheism and theism… still searching for an answer….

Death… the state of non-existence when You, that is the so called you, represented by your body is either burnt to ashes or eaten by moths to become dust. What will happen to the real You? Is there something like the real You, or is it all just bodily matter conditioned by neural impulses and nothing else. Death is a surety for all. All your family members, friends and relatives will die for sure. No one is immortal. In another hundred years, no one will be alive- may be even during your lifetime. Death separates them from you for ever. You will also die. But then what happens? Is it the end?

You will have to leave the world for sure!!! The more you think about it , the more terrible it seems. Of course, only if you think! I mean, think about it when you get solitude, when you have time, but before you grow old. When a young mind thinks about death, the thought helps you- helps you in leading a better life, maybe a greater inclination to believe in god; for the fear of unknown will make you feel the need for a god.

Alas! Young people are always wrapped inside a blanket of materialism. They find thoughts about the reality of death, the true meaning of existence and such things as unnecessary and useless in their practical world.

May be I will never be able to make a judgment or get an answer, but I will surely express my feelings and thoughts to the world so that they can do a kind of introspection making them better human beings and creating a better world.

This is the vague philosophy of an untamed mind